I Dated A Tool
I was just a tool
and I didn't screw that way,
but you held me like a wrench
and then I turned your way.
But now it doesn't matter.
You worked the nut a-loose.
And I think the oil surprised you
when it burned your cute caboose.
(You hadn't yet effected
a proper oil pan,
but the hope of someday driving
left matters in your hands.)
You turned me counter-clockwise;
you should have turned me right,
centering my socket
to twist the nut a-tight.
I thanked your gentle fingers.
You cursed your loosened grip.
Around my oily handle,
your blistered fingers slipped.
You rapped your knuckles soundly.
You cursed me for your pain.
You threw me down your driveway!
And fetched me back again.
And you, still moving forward,
crawled back beneath the block.
You held my head with confidence
and gave my neck a rock.
I can only write this to you
from safe inside this drawer
now that the car's been serviced
(a little oil on the floor).
I hope you don't regret this.
It's been a little greasy,
but I surely never promised you
that maintenance was easy.
and I didn't screw that way,
but you held me like a wrench
and then I turned your way.
But now it doesn't matter.
You worked the nut a-loose.
And I think the oil surprised you
when it burned your cute caboose.
(You hadn't yet effected
a proper oil pan,
but the hope of someday driving
left matters in your hands.)
You turned me counter-clockwise;
you should have turned me right,
centering my socket
to twist the nut a-tight.
I thanked your gentle fingers.
You cursed your loosened grip.
Around my oily handle,
your blistered fingers slipped.
You rapped your knuckles soundly.
You cursed me for your pain.
You threw me down your driveway!
And fetched me back again.
And you, still moving forward,
crawled back beneath the block.
You held my head with confidence
and gave my neck a rock.
I can only write this to you
from safe inside this drawer
now that the car's been serviced
(a little oil on the floor).
I hope you don't regret this.
It's been a little greasy,
but I surely never promised you
that maintenance was easy.